My journey as an athlete has seen varying seasons of success, struggle, and ... (let's be honest) more of a struggle. The majority of my evolution has been spent falling on my face, wallowing in a puddle of self doubt, picking myself back up, then face-planting back into the same puddle. The process hasn't always been pretty. In fact, the majority of the learning process, despite being in the past, feels mildly cringeworthy to re-live as I write this out. Throughout the last 10 years in my trials and tribulations I have worn different identifiers. The identifiers I wore were: high school athlete, university student athlete, student / aspiring bodybuilder, nurse / aspiring bodybuilder, nurse / coach, and, now, nurse / coach / aspiring CrossFit & Olympic lifting athlete. The last 10 years of my evolution as an athlete, doing the actual sports and living the daily practices required has been paramount in shaping me into the coach I am actively growing into.
Years 1-3
Grade 10:
Meet 15 year old Devya. The best way to sum her up? Puberty, late-bloomer, low self-esteem, a dash of confusion and a whopping scoop of awkwardness. The main sport of choice that year was rugby. Why? Because my sisters played it. That's all. No other reason at the time. That year, all I could sum up was that the coach had no idea what he was doing. This was evidenced by his having to PRINT OUT THE RULES OF RUGBY before a practice. He had never played the game before. I may not have known much about rugby, but I sure as shit knew that the team likely didn't have much of a chance with a coach who never played before. The main skill I quickly gained proficiency at on the field that year: tackling people. I was basically a bull in a china shop on the field with minimal ball handling skills. The position Coach had me at was inside center. This was definitely not the right position that would benefit the team. It's safe to say we did not do so great that year. We had won a mere single game the entire season (due to the other team having to forfeit so really… does that even count?).
Grade 11:
After some reflection over the summer I knew one thing. No matter how little rugby IQ the coach / team had, there was at least one thing we could do: be fit enough to keep up with the ball. Keep up with the ball. Figure shit out from there. Rugby pre-season wasn't until February / March, so I had time to do an additional sport in the fall. I had always loved being in water and wanted to improve my cardiovascular health -- so that's when I joined the swim team. This was also when I started to incorporate resistance training at the rec center across the street from my high school and a gym across the city one of my sisters brought me to. A month out from pre-season, I approached the rugby coach and asked permission to run pre-season fitness for the team. I put together drills I half pulled out of my ass / found on google (and tried by myself first) involving stairs mixed with group / partner mini metcon style drills. Did all the girls show up every session? No. Did it bring some of the team closer and improve our fitness to play a little bit? I think so! Despite a few grievances I received from the senior girls that I was "taking over the team" (gotta love team politics) it was a helpful turning point. The MAIN catalyst that year: ENTER NEW COACH, Baj. This gem of a human had EXPERIENCE in the sport. She moved me from inside center position to flanker. A position I was more suited for. That year, the team moved up a division.
Grade 12:
Senior year. My rugby IQ slowly improved. I put in work on my own time on the field & in the gym before school, on weekends and after school. I researched common rugby drills on the field and experimented with them. I had a trainer at the gym who had me working on agility, plyometrics and strength training. I was able to switch off between being flanker, 8 man, prop, a lifter in line-outs and as a center when needed. I was happy to go where I was needed and felt valued knowing I could go where / when needed for the sake of the team. It was all the more rewarding being appointed Captain and receiving the team MVP & Female Athlete of the Year awards at the end of the year. The team was ALL for pre-season fitness. The combination of the team fitness, team bond, and our Rugby IQ - savvy head coach had us on our way to a better direction. If memory serves correctly, we had won over half the games that season. Were we the best in the city? No. Years later, after running into Coach Baj, some months ago, the team is now in the first division of the city.
The lesson from my high school years? The coach who has PUT IN THE TIME to the trade is who you want to go to. A textbook, the written rules, and/or any theoretical - based knowledge will not get you far in being able to teach others a skill. A good coach is one who actively practices the craft.
Years 4-7
Enter University. The UofC rugby team was known for being one of the best women's Varsity teams in the country. Long story short, a mixture of team politics (aka the veterans of the team had a “vets eat their young mentality”) with personal matters at home brought me to the difficult decision of stepping back from rugby to focus on my studies as I started one of the busiest programs known to the university: the Faculty of Nursing.
The program consisted of 20 hours a week of clinical rotations/practicum, 8 hours of labs and 9 hours of lectures. Couple that with working part time to pay rent and making time to study / write research papers during split shift breaks waiting tables. It was the good 'ol student hustle. It's safe to say my fitness went down the drain. I hit the gym when I could but my programming was inconsistent. I was also becoming very aware of my aesthetics / lack thereof. I didn't have a clear direction of athletic goals at the time other than "let's look a bit less shitty". That was when I hired my very first online nutrition / fitness coach. Ryan.
Ryan is actually very well known to the fitness community as a successful body-building prep coach. I would recommend him to anyone looking to prepare for a show. The man knows his stuff. I had been told by a couple professional body-builders that I had a decent amount of muscle for my age and to think about trying bodybuilding at some point after leaning out and "seeing what I had to work with". Competing on stage or not - it was nice to have a structured program to stick to while I was hustling through the demanding schedule of my nursing program.
My issue at the time: I felt restricted and did not desire eating the same food every day (oats, chicken, broccoli, rice, etc). Secondly, I thought, what if I were off the program? How would I know what to eat if I were to be off a specific menu while meeting my macros? I didn’t know shit about macros at the time. Thirdly, I had absolutely no idea what the process of prepping truly entailed and the level of being “dialed in” that was required. I lacked the emotional maturity and understanding at the age of 21. I was also becoming aware of the ramifications it had on my body image. A significant issue to this as well: I had more of a need to be desired by others more so than doing a bodybuilding prep for MYSELF. This was a long journey in of itself that I worked on throughout the years (and continue to work on to this day). Needless to say, I did not stick to my program and bowed out. It turns out that I would revisit the goal later a couple times, with evolving motives. My lessons from ages 18-22?
Keep your emotions out of sports. Leave them off the field / out of the gym. Your fragile ego will only deter you. If I were to go back in time to when the UofC team veterans gave me crap, I would have told them to shove it and fought harder to stay on the team. I definitely have regrets in not giving rugby a proper try at the collegiate level. Also, f**k toxic team culture.
There is more to life / food than eating chicken & broccoli.
You DO have time to hit the gym and meal prep, no matter how busy you are.
Your intent behind following a regiment will determine if you will adhere long term.
Years 8-9:
Hello pandemic you a**hole. We all know how that went. Gyms were opening and closing constantly depending on the rules at the time based on logic public health experts pulled out of their asses (it seemed). Bodybuilding shows were canceled left and right. People worked out from home or gave up and drank their sorrows away. This was evident in the HIGH influx of alcohol withdrawal and liver failure patients I had received in my care in hospital – good lord. ANYWHO, I still had a strong urge to improve my physique. I just struggled with understanding how I could be more flexible with my macros while getting there.
Enter a new coach, we will name him John. He introduced me to this crazy thing called balancing whole food with fitting your macros. My relationship with food very much improved exponentially. The calories laid out from the cut brought me down 20 pounds and I was hopeful about competing in a bodybuilding show in the wellness category. As you can see in the pictures, I got pretty decently lean while holding 160 pounds. I managed to pull this off despite working the day/night shift work life… that was sure as shit interesting let me tell ya.
The issue I had with John: there was no communication as to what to look for prep-wise for a competition. When I was at my leanest with him, I would have been 8 weeks out from competition. Unfortunately, I did not get responses to a check in for over a week at times. I was brand new to competing and felt quite alone. All I could do was stick to the macros and I played with my cardio titrations by myself. I was given no posing guidance, no at home workouts when the gyms were still opening / closing on and off. I had the posing suit, the heels, everything.
I did a couple posing sessions with friends and looked up posing on youtube at that point. Then… shocker, the competition was canceled. Since I was receiving little communication or guidance from John, I canceled the service.
The 20 pounds came back on… with change. I had no idea how to reverse diet nor what the concept of reverse dieting was. I decided a couple things:
I wanted to learn about macros, how to structure/periodize nutrition, and what the nutrition coaches knew that I didn’t.
I wanted to help improve people’s health WELL BEFORE they needed to hit the hospital. This was based on the cases I was seeing in the hospital in my nursing practice. That’s a whole other side story in of itself.
That folks… is what led me to getting my coaching certification 2 years ago. I am sincerely grateful for it.
Year 10:
Here we are. I love my job. I love teaching people how to listen to their bodies as a result of the nutrition and lifestyle interventions we implement. I love helping people release themselves from a restrictive mindset from food, improve their blood work markers (solely from our work together), and helping people feel like stronger, healthier, happier versions of themselves. Despite the frustrations of the highs and lows of the scale, the lessons I gleaned from the experience are unmatched and have made me a better coach.
I have since been adding to my coaching knowledge taking the Pre Script Biomechanics and Skill Acquisition courses in the last year while soaking up as much knowledge and wisdom as I can from the educators and mentors Jordan (squared), Killian, Kyle, Eric and James (squared :P), as well as the rest of my Pre Script student crew. My lesson in the last year: to be a better coach, surround yourself with those who have done the craft and actively practice it with an insurmountable level of detail, care and integrity.
Dev! What about bodybuilding? Are you going to compete?
Honestly, not anytime soon. I find more joy in my current training, olympic lifting and CrossFit. I feel more excited to challenge myself as an athlete learning new skills at a biomechanical level, while allowing my aesthetics to take care of themselves. I keep myself accountable with my current coach, Mads. She’s my rock. Should I have the desire to compete down the road, the stage isn’t going anywhere. Win or lose, no matter what age I were to compete, I would be doing it SOLELY for me, myself and I. No one else.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Find movements, sports, and/or goal pursuits that bring you joy.
Don’t take all of this TOO seriously. While exercise & nutrition are important for the sake of your health, I truly hope you’re enjoying the process. If not, something needs to change.
PS, the evolution never stops. Embrace it. It’s in your DNA after all.